Clar Visator

Clar Visator - a Photo and Video Studio

Farewell my dear Past!

For many years I have lived my present surrounded by traces of my past. Those traces were people, were memories, were resentments, were emotions. I have tormented myself for a long time with thoughts like ... "What have I done wrong?", "What could I have done better?", "How couldn't I see this coming?", "Why did you think this time it would be better?", "Why did you trust the wrong person again?" Some believe I am hard on people and that I expect too much from them. Yes that is true but they also fail to see that I am the hardest on myself and that I don't expect what I can't deliver. Not everybody is like me I know.

So many memories. So much effort put in keeping others happy. I tried to change mentalities. I tried to do what others were too comfortable to do. I had the wrong audience. They had another agenda. I had many "friends" and then I got to know them. Some of them just look like nice people from far away. Later I learned that I tried to get close to some people that had other principles in life. They see liberty as the liberty to do whatever they want without thinking of another. Some think that people are just objects to play around with. I can't agree with that. So I left. Twice. 

This is the second time and the last time.

I'll leave my past with the people that I don't feel compatible with behind me for good. And I am doing this for me because I don't want to lose more of my faith in people. I'll share my life with people that have the same principles as I have. I am turning to myself once and for all. I can accept only true friends.

I can't live like you. I either love with all of myself or I am cold as ice. I can't find a balance. I am loyal when I don't have too be. I am very intense in all aspects. I am sometimes hard to understand. There aren't many people that can. One needs a high level a sensitivity and willingness to use brain power if that person posses something like that of course.

I dislike people that are not sincere and that hide behind words. If I keep quiet it doesn't mean I actually trust your words. I trust what I see and what people do. Friends don't betray each other. I'll never be like you and people don't change so it is time to part our ways.

Goodbye forever people of my past!