Drawings and emotions

I reached a point that I can no longer express my emotions in words. So I choose drawing and painting to tell you about the depths of the human soul. 

  

9.

Shelter

 

Happy are those that have a shelter to turn to. Sad are those that have not. I took you in my arms and placed your head close to my heart so you can hear the loving beatings. To ease your pain I cried instead of you. It is raining hard, but how come I am the only one sulking wet? 

 

 8.

Gone

 

 I closed the eyes of my little naive hope. She can't handle the world anymore. I let go. I let go of love, I let go of hate, I let go of the future, I let go of my dream of a happy life with a loving husband and beautiful children, I let go of myself. It seems I can live as a robot. No destiny. No heat. I hope robots expire earlier than humans. Oh wait did I say hope? So ironic. 

Biri sorarsa duvar ağladı. 

 7.

The ocean

 

 Sometimes you sit in front of the mirror and you look at yourself. You look so dead. You seem like there is nothing left in you. You know that it is just the mirror joking with you because you know it is not true. You listen to a song, you see something, and memories from the distant past born a storm in your ocean of emotion.

 6.

Love call

Balance is the key to a healthy and happy life. To give and to receive. To love and to be loved. Ying and Yang. Man and woman. You need two for an embrace. What happens when you lose your balance? Or the illusion of it? It is all in our heads. Many times we love an illusion. We embrace a lie. One moment is there and next moment it is gone. When you need that embrace, when your world is shaking, when you can't trust the ground you are stepping on, and there is no one to reach his arms to you ... how painful do you think it is? It is a crushing loneliness. One can't just survive alone. One will slowly die because loneliness is a silent criminal. 

 

 

5.

The silent scream

You were fine, you were healed, but now it feels like the end! It feels you no longer have strength to carry on. Your heart and mind are exhausted trying to understand something they can't. Something that goes against all their principles and morality. You can't forgive. But you don't know who. The world or you for being a stupid fool for wanting to believe that people can change? You know you will never forgive as long as your mind is sane. The mistakes you made too many times all unravel themselves in your head at the same time hitting you like a 5 meters high wave. They cover you completely until you are left with no air. The soundless scream burns your chest. No one hears and no one knows you are choking in your tears.

4.

Selfie

We are more than a picture on the Facebook wall. Isn't it so? We are more than the cloths we wear and the jewelry we use. We are an eye that sparkles more bright than a diamond because of a tear that we struggle to keep in. We are fantasy because when we close our eyes from the darkness of the world we turn to our inner one and live following our own rules. We breathe in half because our lungs are half full with our loved one's perfume. We are burning flesh that turns on at just one person's touch. And when we leave will you remember me as a red rose with bleeding thorns?

3. 

I hate you

I love you

Oh dear heart you made me want to take you out of my chest and throw you away, but then I looked at you and you were so lonely yet so hopeful, so full, but yet so empty, so naive, but without the foolishness it got you into so much trouble, so much love to give, but no one to give it to, you were lovable, but you didn't feel loved. I guess I love you even when I hate you dear heart. Without you life would have no meaning so I put you back.

2. 

Breaking the chains

 

Have you ever felt like you can't move on? Like invisible chains are strangling you? So much like you can't breath, eat, sleep? Remembering over and over an awful and tormenting past?
Escaping from the chains that keep you away from happiness, that won't allow you to move on can be a painful experience and can live scars forever imprinted in your heart. The pain as the price you pay for breaking free can teach you different things than what others try to teach you.
They say take chances and give up your pride. 
But pain says let no one that can't give you love, respect and protection ever approach you.   

 

1.

"Çok sevme nefret edersin, nefret etme çok seversin. "

"Don't love too strong or you will hate, don't hate or you will love too much."

One should not love someone else too much because when you lose the trust, the faith in that person you much cherished, all that strong emotion that you felt while in love will seek a way to live on by transforming and mixing with the insecurity, the feeling of abandonment and betrayal, the loneliness, the disappointment, eventually turning into hatred. 

Without the object of hatred one starts to forget. When that someone dies your hatred, that emotion, even if negative, will miss the reason of its existence. Pain of loss will clean the marks of hate leaving the emotion of love and regret behind. All too late.

Love others but not too much or you might reach a point when you will hate yourself.